Can i not drive my cunt home
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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