the day after is always just damage control
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dick very happy bro
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