i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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