I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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