God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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