This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
