Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
