I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
