I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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