Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
