North Korea, Best Korea!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
