the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
