I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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