Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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