it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize