I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
