would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
