I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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