I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
