But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
