So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
