U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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