I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize