The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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