I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
