i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
