One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
