took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
BRING THE BAGELS
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
