NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
