theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
