Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
True strength comes from lack of pants
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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