Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
