Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
