Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no, he came in my armpit
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
