I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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