We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Found your dick twin last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
