so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
