what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
