Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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