stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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