Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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