I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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