Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
