dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
birth control should be required to get into college
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
