His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
