he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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