is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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