Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
