I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
