Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
