New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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