Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
